Humorous Headlines - Potential Titles?

I received this in one of my emails lately and thought it was rather humorous. I shared it with my writers group because I thought some of these would make fantastic story titles. Enjoy (my title thoughts are in italics).

THE YEAR'S BEST [actual] HEADLINES OF 2007 - THAT JAY LENO SOMEHOW MISSED:

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Running Down Jaywalkers

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
Panda Mating Fails and the Doctor Steps In

Miners Refuse to Work after Death
Refusing to Work After Death

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
Trying Shooting Defendants

War Dims Hope for Peace
I'd leave this one alone

Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
Murder: Homicide Suspected

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
Red Tapes Holds Up Bridges and Buildings

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks: A Fairy Tale

Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctor
Seven Foot Doctors

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
Taking the Blame for Gas Problems

These were in the email - they are funny, but I haven't though how to convert them to titles yet:

If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures

Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half

And the winner is....

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

I love some of these, looking at them this way made it more fun for me - I actually am thinking of using a few of them for some stories - of course, I might have to develop the story around the title. Not the normal way to write a story - but it can be fun.