Michael Phelps

Congratulations and thank you Michael Phelps!!!



I have been totally involved in the Olympics this year and I haven't completely understood why. But I love it. I tear up every time some one wins, I tear up every time someone fails, and I am so invested this year.

I think for me, I love that the Olympics offer us the ability to dream. I think that is what Michael Phelps has done for me - he has taken me back to my childhood - when Mark Spitz was earning his golds. I remember that we were glued to the set - we were drawn together as a nation, but more than that - I believed that I could do whatever I set my mind to do. I was encouraged to dream - to reach for my highest aspirations and dream.

Thank you Michael Phelps for reminding me of that enthusiasm! Congrats on all your GOLD.

DREAM, DREAM, DREAM, DREAM

A few weeks ago I was talking with a friend of mine - I told him that one of my favorite things to do when I went to bed was plan my dream. I like it when I am settling in and pick the storyline I want to go on. I am sometimes frustrated when I fall asleep without getting to plan. He told me that he remembered doing that as a child (actually I had two friends say the same thing when I was talking to them about dreaming). The woman said that she doesn't do that anymore. The reason my male friend is standing out in my mind right now is that he said, 'I don't dream anymore.'

I don't dream anymore, are you kidding me? Don't we all dream whether we want to or not? I was asking another friend about this and he said that while he is sure he dreams, he never remembers dreaming, let alone what they are about. I am so sad for those who no longer dream. I love dreaming, I love day dreaming, night dreaming, and all types of dreaming. Well, not all types...there are the occasional nightmares which haunt me.

I have this one of a friends murder that for awhile was occurring so often and in such detail, that I occasionally had to call to make sure it was a dream and not a memory. Those chasing dreams are not my favorite either - the ones where someone is after you and you can feel your body physically fighting the dream, but seemingly can't wake from it. Not my favorite, but I feed a little off of those - they help me to remember fear, to understand panic which helps me in my writing.

Last night I had a new nightmare, and I didn't like it. I don't want it ever again. I can't say that I am afraid to go to sleep, but I will definitely be trying to plan my dream tonight. It was a dream about going to jail (no, I have never been). I never learned what the crime I committed was, but I know that I was supposed to be somewhere to clear my name and instead was locked in a type of safe or refrigeration unit (I know different, but I think the dream actually vacillated between the two). Anyway because I missed the appointment, I was being taken to jail right away without trial - I had two detectives who were monitoring and taking me. I was made to say goodbye to my family and was terrified. I can remember contemplated what I would need to do to get into solitary confinement or the infirmary or to get the charges dropped. There was no chasing, but the panic I felt, the fear - too real. To horrible. I don't want the dream again. Will it help my writing, I hope so.

For me the funny thing is trying to figure out what this dream has to do with my real life. I often think that our dreams are linked in one way or another and try to evaluate them. This should be a fun one to try and figure out.

Right now I am helping myself to prepare for a good night's sleep with a glass of lemonade mixed with a shot of my homemade blueberry infused vodka - yummy.

I need to ... (part 1)

"I need to jump in a puddle!"

Recently I was graced with the opportunity to attend and participate in a retreat. Now I used to work on a lot of these, and I honestly miss them. Even when there was work involved, the retreat and prayer aspect of the weekend always left me with a real sense of peace. The people in attendance all minister to youth in one way or another, so I admit that I had some initial struggles with why I was invited. I didn’t allow it to bother me too much though, I used to minister my faith to the youth of the world, things change and I no longer do this. However, I think I didn’t allow myself to feel out of place because I still work with youth as well – working with children who have mental and behavioral health concerns. And there’s the whole thing of ‘and they’ll know we are Christians by our love, by our love…’

We prayed, listened and shared, fairly quickly. I was blown away by the immediate honesty and sharing of feelings and emotions. There was both tears and laughter. I know that some of the immediate emotion was shared because many of these people know each other fairly well and work, collaborate and share together.

One of my favorite small group sharing opportunities occurred on the second day. We were split into groups of three or four and were to share some of our memories. I can’t remember the exact direction, but it had to do with thinking of something we did as a child that we are missing right now in our lives. I don’t exactly remember the one I shared because I really do miss a lot about my childhood – I think I shared about riding my bike in the small town we lived in. I often think back to my childhood in Bozeman, MT and while I am not resentful about our move to Nebraska, but I do often wonder how different my life would have been had we remained in Montana. It’s funny because recently I have re-connected with some of my friends from that time and with the stories they have shared and the direction their lives have gone, I know my life would have been very different.

Anyhow, back to the retreat. After the small group sharing, we had the opportunity to share with everyone something that we learned from our small groups. One woman shared that she had learned something from one of the people in her group. She had talked about jumping in puddles. When she spoke of this, there was such excitement in what she was saying that had it actually been raining, we would have all been racing outside to jump in puddles. She ended her comments by punching her fist and saying, “I need to jump in a puddle.”

That phrase kept playing in my head for the next several days. Her excitement at the thought of jumping in a puddle had me excited. I have jumped in puddles, so in my mind, I made it my own and thought, ‘I need to jump in more puddles.’ Again it ran through my mind over and over for days. It has been too cold out and there aren’t any puddles, but believe me the next chance I get, I’m jumping in a puddle.